Here in the Philippines I get a lot of attention. My classmate and I both do – we look extremely different than most people here so we easily stand out. In Mindanao, there isn’t a huge presence of foreigners either, so it may not be an everyday occurrence for people to see a white person. (It definitely is not an everyday occurrence for the people here to meet a black man, or anyone from the whole continent of Africa.)

A lot of it is just stares or coy looks but many times I get, from both men and women, “You’re beautiful!” (Yesterday this man from his tractor trailer that he just parked scrambled out of his seat while I was walking by to yell after me “I love you!”) At first the attention was a little much, especially from men. I’m quite protective of myself as a woman, and in a new culture and country you have no idea really what the implications of men calling out to you is, are they harmless or not?

I’ve learned now that most Filipino men are quite harmless and most people here are just playful, and I can be friendly back and say Good Afternoon (no I love you toos though!).

But there is something still bothering me a bit about all this attention. A little part of me feels sad when the women look at me and say “You’re beautiful!” Afterwards, they look down at the the pale skin on my arms. My skin tone, my features, my height, maybe my hair are all viewed as desirable, perhaps exotic features. This comes as quite a shock to me since I’ve been a normal looking American all my life. And in my country Asian women, with soft skin, dark hair, and petite figure are the picture of beauty (and are sometimes quite unfairly exploited for their beauty as well). I try to remember to look at these women who compliment me and remind them “You’re beautiful!”

It’s just so mind boggling to me – concepts of beauty. Where did it all start? How have conceptions of beauty come to evolve so differently in different places all around the world? How come I’m so beautiful here in the Philippines but these women would be God’s gift to men (and women!) in my country? Of course, having conceptions of beauty is fine and natural, but what I don’t like is one-dimensional conceptions of beauty. I’m uncomfortable with beauty being just one version of one type of a person (a person who may never exist in reality) that young girls struggle to attain and have low self-esteem and eating disorders because of this for years. I’m uncomfortable with beauty that comes from an affinity for those who have power and riches in one’s country, those who may look closest to the colonizers, and were thus favored by them accordingly, those who have lighter skin.

We’re human, and our minds work in categories. We simplify things to understand. Understanding beauty is no exception. But our, often limited conceptions of beauty, like all narrow thinking, have serious ramifications. I’m not sure I have any answers to or conclusions to these thoughts; other than I think it is important to cultivate an appreciation of beauty in all people and in all of creation.

On an adorable side note, today we went to a village in Zamboanga in Western Mindanao to celebrate Iftar, the breaking of the fast. There were all these little kids following Chernor and I, staring at us, and one brave soul who just stepped forward and pointed straight at Chernor. Later when we passed them again the little boys (maybe 7 or 8?) said “Hello, American!” I looked at them and said all playful, “How do you know I’m American!?” They just stared at me and smiled like, duh, you look so American! They were so precious!