Is there such a thing as Cultural Competency?

One issue I reflected deeply upon during my last two weeks in the Philippines was the topic of cultural competency. I think of cultural competency as each person's ability to be respectful and understanding of cultures other than their own, and to, as much as possible, not offend those from another culture. In general, I think I have a pretty strong ability to do this. Although, in the last few weeks or so of my time abroad I started second guessing this.

As a foreigner abroad I feel as though a large part of my day is spent trying to practice cultural competency -- to taste that new food that looks nothing like my daily meals, to try a new dance or song or game, or to be open to new ways of living in general or new ideas about politics and religion. This of course can be exhausting. And in some ways, I'll admit, I come to resent the locals in the process, sometimes thinking, "I don't see you trying to be so understanding of my culture when you comment on my food or express shock at a traditional practice of my family!" But of course, I know I, as the foreigner, am the one with the responsibility to express cultural competency at all times.

In the second to last week I was abroad I got into a little bout with a friend. I had come to see him, just by how much time we had spend together and how similar I felt we were in many ways, including our political viewpoints, as pretty similar, despite coming from two totally different parts of the world with completely different childhoods. We were in a cab and I got annoyed that he touched the taxi driver's radio and he was annoyed that I made such a fuss about it. I realized later, that this, at least for me, was a cultural difference that I had been completely blinded to because I focused so frequently on how we were alike. I was completely insensitive to his way of being because we had gotten so close. It seemed natural for me to admonish him because I felt he should know that is not okay -- but of course he doesn't, because it is perfectly fine for him to do such a thing based on his background -- which I, in turn, need to be open to.

In the last week of being abroad the dawn masses began in the Philippines. This is a Filipino tradition where people wake up around 2am to go to mass every day, the nine days before Christmas. This is a sacrifice done to display gratitude for the Incarnation of God in the form of Jesus at Christmas. I contemplated going to one so I asked a devout co-worker what time English dawn mass was at the Cathedral, when she replied "3am," I think I said something like, "wow, Seriously???" My co-worker, at this point, turned away from me, and went quiet. I had offended. I was making my frequent communication mistake of expressing something way too strongly (and to add some context, she was the third person I asked that day and each time I asked someone the time got earlier by about 30 minutes). Yes, this is really early, but if people want to get up that early to give thanks to their God, I think that is absolutely wonderful. This is clearly not what I had just communicated.

These two events together, like I said, really made me think again about my level of cultural competency. First, it made me realize I couldn't be so harsh on locals who had frustrated me a bit with their repeated comments about my food and cooking, for example. Like my response to my co-worker -- when two cultures meet there is shock, intrigue, and questioning. This is normal and we all do it. I just have to toughen up and not take things personally, because that is in no way how it is meant. Instead, I should be happy that people want to ask questions and be open to my new things -- it would probably be worse if no one talked to me or if I never tried to learn something new about another culture.

On the other hand I realized that we all make these mistakes of cultural incompetency, that is normal too. I think now that the most important aspect of being cultural competent is humility. We have to be willing to admit our mistakes and make up for them. I made a point later of asking my co-worker to tell me more about her dawn mass experiences, what it means to her, and how beautiful I think the devotion is. This helped to get past any uneasiness that had settled between us.

We can increase our cultural competency by spending hours researching another culture and by living in a foreign country for years, but we will always make mistakes, do something that is a faux pas in a foreign place or upset someone by our ignorance. We can never know a culture as well as the one we were raised in. The best we can do is try really, really hard. And that show of sincere willingness to learn and accept may be the most important aspect of cultural competency there is.